Friday, October 01, 2004

Friday and still nothing going on

I'm really bored today. I've been sat around all week waiting for yesterday's school trip, which was cancelled due to the heavy rain; and then today's classes, which in turn have been cancelled due to some other wet and miserable reason. I've managed to get a good bit of language study time in, though, and last night I myself started to notice a bit of an improvement in my speaking ability (at Japanese club, that is). It's funny, you know, the Japanese language. I was out on Wednesday night with the gang from the English conversation club, and one of the elders was saying how she noticed a qualitative change in herself when she used English as to when she spoke in Japanese. She asked me if I had the reverse experience when speaking Japanese, and I didn't really know what to say. I suppose, thinking about it, I become a bit more of a creep when I speak Japanese, or at least I do when I'm in the office. I don't know what it is about the office, because it's a place that's full of folks I really don't have much time for, bar some good individuals of course, but even still I end up brown-nosing Japanese rather than actually speaking it, or communicating it. I suppose it's because I have some deep-seated desire to be accepted, and find that through being submissive at least I'm not getting in anybody's way. I literally feel like the office creep sometimes, repeating hai, hai, hai, hai, hai... all the time, as if that was all I knew how to say. Saying that, I'm not submissive at all at Japanese club, so I suppose it all comes down to who you're talking to and what it is you're talking about.